It has taken a while for me to get to this point. I want to love myself. It is not that I did not. Rather, over the past few years I have struggled with depression, sense of unworthy-ness and close to non-existent self-worth. The road that lies ahead of me is not easy, but as cliche as this will sound – it will be worth it. I have always had a vision for my life, how it should be and how I will get there: but clearly it did not work out that way.
Recently I across something that mat made me understand the following:
- Life does not always go according to plan. It is not always in a logical sequence
- What is going on in your life, whether ‘good or bad’, is a matter of perception. Not only that, but everything that is going on is helping you and realigning you to your purpose, your destiny and everything you have been praying/hoping for.
So I live according to this passage (Philippians 4:4-13)
“ 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it.11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Sometimes we like to give up without giving ourselves time to experience the journey. “Life happens FOR you, not TO you”. I have had so many of those moments where in retrospect, I realise the importance and necessity of going through several hardships. Yes, it was not easy. Yes, i wanted to give up many times but had it not been for me understanding that no matter the sequence of my experiences i was still heading to my destination, i would have given up long time ago.